When I pay a visit to my wonderful waxer, I, unapologetically, get the full-off Sphinx, zero hair left behind. And we talk. We talk about our kids, our relationships, sex education for children, religion and most recently about how to masturbate and the wonders of the clitoris.
Due to my Slavic heritage, let me tell you, this ain’t no 10-minute, zip-zip procedure, this is a 45-minute, bidirectional, deep-breathing, contortionist session and we talk through most of it. After removing all my hair with her homemade strips, she then reviews my mons pubis and threads for strays, after which she takes a moment and states “beautiful.” I like to believe that she is speaking to my mons and vulva but it’s probably her taking pride in her own work, in any case, we both leave our session
feeling quite satisfied.
I can’t recall exactly how we started talking about masturbation but I know it had something to do with virginity and speaking about our own children and aging. She talked about her fear of her child doing the wrong thing, and about how she tried to instill a strong moral code. We then started to talk about her own first time. She had very little sexual education growing up and described her marriage of over a decade and a half as sexually satisfying. I, of course, had to ask if she orgasms and she looked at me as if I was crazy. I proceeded to explain orgasm as a warm feeling that washes over your whole body as relaxation. I know that the experience of an orgasm is different for each person and that Dr. Betty Dodson has definitions for several different kinds of orgasm but I was just trying to get at the idea of the climax. We then went into a discussion about clitoral stimulation and masturbation.
“What is a clitoris?” she asks. Mind you, I have nothing on below the waist so what better way to teach than to show? With her permission, I separated my labia majora and minora, pointing them out, revealing my clitoral hood and clitoris. Her response was, “I have that too?” “Well, yes most likely, you do. Go home and check it out.” My live medical modeling stopped at that point but we did discuss different ways that people masturbate, some with toys, some with hands and others use water. We also discussed the virtues of mutual masturbation and how knowing yourself is a gift to your partner.
Fast forward a month to my next waxing session when out of the blue she says, “Jessica, I did it!” Truth be told, I had no idea what she did.
“I used the shower. I tried to use my hands but it didn’t feel right, but the shower is wonderful. I do it, like 3 times a week. Is that too much?” “Oh you masturbated, that’s wonderful. Did you orgasm?” “What’s that?” “Did it feel really good and your whole body relaxed?” “I feel so relaxed when I do it, and there’s a tingle that goes all throughout my body.” “Excellent.”
Every day, I am proud to be a nurse but there are days when I am overwhelmed with satisfaction because I am a sex nurse. Having a patient smile and thank me because I asked about their sexual concerns, or when a person with whom I shared some information says they now cum because of it… well, that’s not only satisfying, that’s downright healing.
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